Am I Crazy?

I've come to a conclusion recently that I'm crazy. Insane. A fry short of a happy meal. Completely nuts. I should be locked in the smelly psych rooms at work were everyone can watch me talk to myself from the cameras outside and laugh as the professional healthcare workers they are.

As if I don't have enough to do these days, I've decided that I want to add something else to the list: nursing school. I've been planning this for a while and have been taking classes since Hannah was born to prepare. I was one of only 75 applicants out of 500 to be admitted and I have the greatest support system I could ask for. All the pieces seem to be falling into place (with the exception of a nanny, which we are still looking for). But last night, I realized that this is going to be really hard. I had my first class which met from 5:30-10:15 pm. I was really hoping that we would get out early because I've never had a class in my college history actually go all the way to 10:15pm, but I guess there is a first time for everything because I didn't get home until 10:30. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal, but little Jacob is still waking up for a feeding between 4-5 am. So that makes for a short night of sleep, followed by a tiring day of taking care of the kids. Also, Jon has a long day as well because as soon as he gets home from work, I have to go to school. He has to do dinner, baths, and bedtime alone with all three kids. Luckily, they all go to bed at 8pm, but it's a very busy 3 hours! Last night I came home and he had somehow managed to take the kids to the library & out for ice cream, clean the kitchen, our bathroom, and fold a load of clothes on top of it! Seriously, I don't know where he has the energy after working all day. He is amazing.

I guess in the back of my mind I'm wondering if it's the right time to do this...my kids are so little and we are so busy. But waiting would mean retaking all my science prereqs which would be a huge waste of time and money. And, really, is there ever a time when we will not be busy??? As the kids get older, they will just be involved in more things and so in many ways, I feel like this is the best time to get this done. Sometimes I don't even know why I feel guilty when most of the moms that I know work 40+ hours outside of the home and their kids are thriving. I guess I just think it is good for my kids to see their mom doing other things, and for us to have a "break" from each other. I want my daughters to know that they can do anything they want, not just because I tell them so, but by example. This morning, Hannah was very excited to ask me about my class. She asked me what my friends' (classmates) names were and if we got juice :) It was so cute!

I just don't know where I will find the time to study! I guess maybe I should be doing that right now instead of writing this blog about not having enough time!!