Keeping It Real

I'm going to have to apologize in advance for this next blog. It is definitely coming on the heels of a very hectic and busy day. Part of me is writing it to vent, and the other part of me is writing it in the hopes that I can one day, in the distant future, look back and laugh at how insane my life used to be. Let me also say that I know that I am very blessed and that given the chance, I would not change anything. Now, having said that...
OK, seriously...will this ever end? Will there ever be a break? Will there ever again be a time when I can spend more than 2 hours by myself again without feeling guilty or having to rush home? I so miss the days when it was all about me. Whatever I wanted to do...sleep in, go to school, go to work, call in sick to work, go out with friends, go shopping, get my hair done, take a nap, watch TV, read books, have quality conversations, build great relationships with all kinds of friends, sleep completely through the night EVERY NIGHT, actually have romantic time with my husband, lay in bed all day, eat a meal slowly and actually enjoy it. I could go on forever. I guess I'm just a little burned out lately.
You know, when I just had one child, I used to think that was hard...then I had two and realized that one was pretty easy by comparison. Then, I had 3. OK, like I'm pretty sure it can't get harder than this. I just can't seem to get it together. I used to be a pretty organized person...not so much anymore. Despite the fact that I am constantly cleaning, the house is always a mess. We do laundry everyday, but the baskets are always overflowing. I rarely dress up or wear make-up anymore and what's funny is that I don't even have the energy to care. We rarely have dinner made before 6:30 PM, and I cannot even begin to tell you how sick I am of emptying/filling the dishwasher.
I'm pretty sure anyone would get stressed out in this situation, but sometimes I do think that I'm just not meant to do this. Taking care of kids full time is definitely not my greatest talent and about half the time I really think I should be doing something else. Being a woman definitely does not make you the best stay-at-home parent...and I really believe Jon would do a much better job at this. Mostly, because he has about 200% more patience than I do.
I am probably the world's most impatient person. No kidding. The other night I was going out with some friends and I had to stop at a fabric store for some double-sided tape to help fasten the shirt I was wearing to myself. Of course, there is only one kind of person who is shopping at a fabric store at 8:30PM on a Friday night and you can pretty much rest assured that in addition to having 5,000 coupons, they are probably over 80 and also writing a check. I just could not BELIEVE this woman had the nerve to go to the fabric store at the same time as me! How dare she! But this is how I think! If there is a slow driver, they are always in front of me. Now, even Hannah has started to scream things like "GO! THE LIGHT IS GREEN!!!" from the back seat. OOPS.
See that person in the way back of the never-ending, only non-express grocery line open? Yeah, that's me. The doctor running late is usually the one I'm stuck in the room waiting for, with 3 squirmy kids, germ-infested everything, and a sealed shut window that I can't jump out of.
So, you get the picture. I AM NOT PATIENT.
I also get bored very easily and do not like to play with toys. Seriously, someone should fire me.
But, for some reason, my kids still like me. They always want to be within 3 feet of my face at all times, and they still want to go with me everywhere. And I, for the life of me, cannot understand why. I'm trying really hard to enjoy this time. TRYING...REALLY REALLY HARD. Some days I kind of do and other days, I'd rather be a garbage man. Seriously. I really do think it would be WAAAYY easier.
I know there will come a time when they don't want to be around me anymore. And I'll be sad. But at least I'll have a haircut and a full night's sleep!
In an effort to be more positive about this time of my life, I've decided to add something I love about it at the end of every blog. When trying to figure out if I'm sure or positive of something, Hannah always asks if I'm "positavid"....it's a weird combination of "positive" and "constipated". So, I'll call this the Positavid of the Day. Here goes...

Positavid of the Day: I love the smell of syrup on footy pajamas.

I feel better already...

Somehow they still aren't tired...

Friday was supposed to be a low key day at home, but as the sippy cups fell out of the cupboard for the twelfth time this week, I decided I had to get out. I took the kids a short distance away to downtown Wheaton to walk around, splash in the fountains, and play in the park. Once there, we decided to have a little photo shoot...
Mama & Big Jacob, now officially 4 months old---


4 going on 14...she insisted on bringing her purse...and giraffe



I...can't...breathe...


Hannah looking deceptively angelic...



OK, I know what you're all thinking...I really did NOT mean to take a picture of my daughter falling. I was about to take a picture of her running to me, but then she wiped out. Poor baby :(



Saturday went by even faster. Since I went out Friday night with some friends, Jon enjoyed his alone time Saturday morning with a 3 hour bikeride. He rode all the way out to Geneva on the Prairie Path. When he got home, I had to go to work for a few hours and then before we knew it, the day was over.


Sunday we took the kids to the DuPage County Fair. There are pigs, cows, goats, chickens, rabbits, turkeys, and then tons of rides and food. They also have a little Ag-ventureland for the kids with a petting zoo, newborn calves and a place where you can "milk the cow".







Daddy & Jacob




The girls feeding the animals...



Hannah grinding corn like in the olden days...

Head Trauma and Fat

I found it especially difficult to get up for boot camp this morning. Maybe it was my long day yesterday: I got up at 5:00 am, worked out, came home to 3 awake and hungry children (lucky for Jon, Jacob is now sleeping 12 hours at night and is waking up right when I get home), did the whole kid thing until 2 PM when our babysitter came so I could go to work for 7 hours. Then, of course, just as I was about to get off, a young man on his 21st birthday decided to go for a motorcycle ride with no helmet and rear end a pick up truck at high speed. Massive facial trauma, a subdural hematoma, and leaking CSF... he will be lucky to see his 22nd birthday. Surprisingly, he wasn't even drinking. So, then I had to stay at work for an extra 1/2 hour and the subsequent adrenaline rush kept me awake long into the night.

Or, maybe I found it hard to get up because today was our last day of boot camp and the tape measure and fat pincher thingy would be making another unwelcome appearance. I wasn't very optimistic because I had been weighing myself and had somehow gained 1-2 pounds over the past month. Muscle! Right.

Well, the results are in fact encouraging...I lost 3 inches from my waist, 2 inches from my hips, and 1 inch from my chest (kind of sad, but oh well). My legs each got bigger (muscle) and so did my left arm (random, I know). Overall, I lost 3% body fat. Merlin the magic man said that if I continued the program for 1 more month I would be down to about where I want to be. But, since that isn't in the financial cards for us...my sister is going to be training me every morning instead. I am generally happy with the results. Not Victoria's Secret Bikini Model happy, but happy nonetheless. It appears I am a Skinnier Fat Skinny Person! Sorry to disappoint, but there will be no pictures posted yet...I think the backdrop of sunny Mexico will be better suited for displaying my results (and it will give me 2 more weeks!). But, in the meantime I will leave you with two beautiful girls in their swim suits...

Life is for Everyone

Ok, so this blog might be a little depressing but it is something that has been bothering me for the past couple days...well actually much longer, but I was just reminded of it a few days ago. Usually, I love working in the Emergency Department. It's always fun, I learn A LOT, and we never know what's going to come in. Most of the time, I can separate myself emotionally from what I am experiencing and go on with my life. But, some situations stick with me for a long time. Mostly it is those involving children.
To give an anonymous example: Woman in the late stages of pregnancy tries repeatedly to commit suicide by overdosing on a variety of medications (all while she was pregnant). Because of this, the unborn baby is found to be severely compromised and is not expected to live much past birth. The worst part is, the baby will most likely be born alive and then die shortly after and the mother won't suffer any consequences for it. She will leave the hospital, get a cup of coffee, and probably return to whatever is left of her life. But her baby never had a chance. I just don't understand how our society can accept this and turn the other way. Why is it her own choice if she wants to kill her baby? That poor child is stuck inside her being posioned everyday and doesn't have a choice at all. Why is it OK? I will never get it. I will never understand why anyone can ever justify ending a child's life regardless of how small it may be. If someone kills their child at 3 days old is it any less significant then if they killed it at 3 years old? NO. So why are we "allowed" to kill babies at 12 weeks gestation or 20 weeks gestation, when hearts are beating, brains are growing, and hands and feet are clearly moving? Why can society justify killing a baby faster than it can justify abstaining from sex? That is how sick and twisted this world is. It is supposed to be OK to have an abortion--to kill a child-- but ridiculous and "fanatically religious" to actually expect that young people make responsible choices and wait to have sex. That is just out of the question...how could we EVER do that?
I am not naive enough to believe that everyone agrees with me and no, I've never been in the position where I've had to deal with an unwanted pregnancy. Unplanned, yes...
I'm sure people have their reasons, but I will never understand them. Everytime I rock my sleeping baby, hear my toddler's uncontrollable laughter, and watch my preschooler hug her grandparents, I can't help but be reminded that they would not be here now doing these things if I had made a different choice. And I believe I would be a broken soul knowing I had somehow selfishly "decided" that they didn't deserve to have these experiences. It just makes me so angry that there is no boundry to the relativism... that anything goes...whatever you want to do as long as it isn't hurting others. But obviously unborn babies don't count as others. I myself will always defend the unborn. People have all the choices in the world...ending another life should never be one of them.

The Anything-But-Lazy Days of Summer

This past month has been insanely busy. I can only wonder what the fall will be like when I start school full time. I interviewed another potential nanny today, but still don't know what I'm going to do. Hannah said she liked her because she "liked her personality and her earrings". I guess that is important :) I've never had such a hard time making a decision before. I just want the person to be perfect! Here are some pictures from the past week. We are really loving the summer despite how busy it has been.

Breakfast time at the Strongs...

Jon is an expert as using the camera's timer. This is last weekend a nearby horse stable while I was working.

She is probably plotting how to get some more snacks :)

This week I took the girls to a "sprayground" with a playgroup from church. It's basically a playground with a ton of different sprinklers and it is nice because it is all closed off so you don't have to worry about them running away. Hannah with giant sprinkler thingy...

Everyone wants to sit in Daddy's lap!

"It's a Funny Squeaky Sound"

There are many things you learn about someone after you are married for a few years. In my case, I discovered that my husband is quite musical. I guess not really my whole husband is musical...but just his nose. Jon has a nose whistle. It is quietest in the morning and loudest at night and extra loud after any strenuous activity. After much investigation, I have determined that it originates from his left nostril. I know this because whenever I'm driving and he's shotgun I can hear it and sometimes I have to plug my right ear. Also, as a result, I can no longer sit on his left side during church because I become ridiculously distracted and can hear nothing else. I know I'm a little crazy, I fully admit that. I've always had a weird thing about unnecessary noise. Ask anyone...the fastest way to become my worst enemy is to chomp/crack gum in my presence. Whistling annoys me too. I guess I'm just weird like that.

The funny thing is, Jon has never admitted that his nose is musical...until recently. We were in the kitchen one afternoon and he was drying his hands. I was clear across the room and heard what sounded like a mouse squeaking. He stopped drying his hands to listen...he had heard something too...but he didn't know what it was! Honestly, it was particularly loud and even I thought it must be a floor board squeaking. But as I got closer we both realized that it was indeed his nose and he had no choice but to admit that he had heard it as well. It was so funny! We laughed so hard :)

Boot Camp, Big Baby Boys, and other Ramblings...

Well, week 2 of boot camp has come to a close and I am still alive and well. Actually, I feel awesome. As of last week, I had only lost 1 pound, but according to my sister (who is a former personal trainer) that is normal because muscle weighs more than fat and as you build muscle it cancels out any weight in fat loss that you may have had. Yeah, that's my story anyway...
But, I definitely feel stronger and am able to actually run now. I'm not sure, but I think I am getting more toned too. I can now suck in my belly fat almost all the way where as before it would still hang over my pants no matter how hard I tried to contain it. I still have a long way to go, as I still have a little "muffin top"....where your pants pinch your hip fat and make you look like a human muffin. On the positive side, I think it has decreased from a Dunkin Donuts sized jumbo muffin to a Jewel Bakery mini-muffin. Originally, I was only doing this because I wanted to wear a bikini in Mexico next month, but now I am considering doing it through August as well. I just love how much energy I have and how much better I feel physically, as well as emotionally. I'm not sure how much of this might be psychological, but even though I've only been in the Land of People Who Exercise for a short time, I can really see why it's a great place to be. You're up early in the morning before all the lazy people, you get to wear cute exercise outfits, your skin looks better, you sleep better, and you walk around thinking, "yeah, that's right, I exercise". Well...maybe just I do that.

ALL ABOUT BIG BABY BOY



Jacob is just getting bigger and bigger everyday. He almost doesn't fit in his baby bath anymore. He is such a good boy... almost like a second Calah. He is in a great routine lately and I know as soon as I write this he will change and I will be cursing myself. He is sleeping 8pm-6am every night. He wakes up a 6 am to eat and then goes back to sleep until 9ish. Then he takes 2-3 2 hour naps. It's almost like I never see him :) He is rolling from tummy to back but not the other way yet and he loves playing on his tummy. He loves to "talk" and is now laughing out loud. It is so cute! He will be 4 months on the 25th.
Most of the time people think he looks like Hannah. I think he is a good mix of both girls physically and personality-wise. He is laid back like Calah, but talks and laughs as much or more than Hannah did at his age. Most of the time he just hangs out and watches his sisters. I just think it is so funny how different each of their baby lives have been. For example, Hannah was just alone with me all the time and I hardly ever put her down. Calah just slept in the bouncy chair the first 3 months and didn't really care what was going on as long as she was fed. Poor Jacob is constantly surrounded by the girls screaming and playing. His meals are almost always interrupted by something and he rarely gets rocked to sleep. All this to say that I defintely think that birth order plays a big part in who you turn out to be. First born children get so much stimulation and attention and then when the third child comes along you barely have time to play with them. You feel bad, but at the same time you wonder if the first one needed all that attention in the first place because the third is thriving without it. I think the younger children just learn from a very early age that there are other things going on besides them.

SOME OTHER STUFF

Wednesday night was Jon's company BBQ at the Kane County Cougars game. It was really nice because my mom stayed with the 2 babies and we got to take Hannah alone. They had a section of bouncy-things all set up for the kids and she spent the entire evening running around. I think she really enjoyed having some alone time with us and feeling like a big girl. So often she has to entertain herself because I am just too busy with the little ones.
We are still looking for nannies for the fall. We are still considering the older woman from our church, but I guess I just want to make sure she is the best fit for them. I am working with an agency and have a couple more interviews this weekend. I just really want to be done with this process so I can relax and enjoy the rest of the summer. My final week of school is this week so things will hopefully slow down a bit. Jon has always done a lot at home, but lately he has been doing even more because I am gone or studying so much. I told him that when I'm done with nursing school he can go on a man-adventure in another country with his friends. I think he thinking about South America (Amazon) or Australia.
What else? I am trying to set my sister up with one of my friends from work. He is a firefighter (fire-pants are always a bonus), and an all-around great guy. We all met up the other night and had a great time so we'll see how it goes...I've tried to set so many people up and it never works. Maybe I should stop doing it...

A Swingin' Fourth

Well, this weekend was very busy and I'm not going to type much because I have a lot of pictures (which are more interesting anyway). Long day short, we took the kids to the Wheaton parade in the morning with my family and then everyone came back to our house for a BBQ and to move the swingset from our neighbor's yard to ours. It was a pretty big process, but we got it done in time for an early dinner. We grilled burgers and brats and ate outside while the kids were busy swinging :) Jacob pretty much slept the whole time because the parade wore him out. After my parents left, our street was having their annual block party so we went to that for a little while and then Jon took Hannah to see the Wheaton fireworks. He just parked the car on the side of the street and watched from there since it was late and he didn't want to get stuck in the traffic that happens at the fairgrounds where the fireworks are set off. After that Hannah got to play with sparklers and a glowstick that I had bought her earlier. So she was very excited because she got to stay up until 10 pm and play in the street all in one day. She's growing up so fast! Here are some pictures:


Uncle Jeff and Calah
Hannah walked Sedona & Beckham the entire time
Cousins!
Jacob in his festive BBQ attire
We had to take down a section of the fence to move the swingset thru... Positioning it just right...

Our very generous neighbor SpencerJacob missing the action Grandpa rides a bike too!
Goodbye kisses...

Muscle Awareness

Well, I've managed to make it through 3 days of fitness boot camp without dying. So far, it's been an interesting experience. Getting up at 5:00 a.m. has definitely been a challenge, but so far, I seem have more energy than I did before. It's a great jump start to the day! There is something very soothing about getting up before the kids and having an hour outside in the fresh summer air doing something healthy for myself. I have never been a morning person and getting out of bed is really hard, but once I'm up it feels great.

My muscles, on the other hand, are kind of wondering what is going on. I think they were perfectly happy being small and unused. My quads are particularly angry...I can't go up or down stairs and I think I need to install handicap rails around my toilet because I can barely sit down to pee.

Interestingly enough, most of the women in the boot camp are older than me and dare I say...not in very good shape. I know I am a Fat Skinny Person, so I shouldn't be saying anything, but seriously...Merlin made it sound like I was going to be the most out of shape person in the group and that is definitely not true. There is even a crazy-haired old lady with fake nails who rolls up in her Jag everyday and swears at her balance ball as if it were a little person. So funny!

Some of the other women don't even make any attempt to run or break a sweat...I think it's more of a social hour for them. I guess some can afford to do that. I, on the other hand, am certainly not dragging myself out of bed at 5:00 a.m. to have a conversation!

Anyhoo...3 weeks left. Other than an increase in energy and thigh burn, I haven't really noticed any physical changes yet...I'm hoping to be transformed into a Victoria's Secret bikini model. OK, OK, maybe that's a little out-of-reach...maybe I should just aim at not having to wear a maternity bathing suit in Mexico next month :)

Sisters

Over the past 17 months, we've really enjoyed watching Hannah and Calah's sisterly relationship develop. On the positive side, Hannah is a great big sister...she's the first one to comfort Calah if she's crying or hurt and the first one to help her go down stairs or get her shoes on (of course, this is tricky because Hannah just learned to put her own shoes on). Calah loves to watch Hannah and tries to do EVERYTHING she does. Yesterday, I caught her climbing up on a chair to reach something on the counter. She will also sit on the floor with a pile of books and "read" them outloud in baby language. It's so funny to watch and as soon as I catch her on video I will post it. Calah is so much more physical than Hannah was at her age because she has a little example to follow all the time.

On the negative side, they drive me crazy with their incessant fighting! They are constantly fighting over every toy, book, and toilet paper roll. It doesn't matter what it is, if one of them has it, the other one wants it. As easy-going as Calah is, she is STUBBORN as my days are long. :) She will just scream as loud as she can if Hannah tries to take something and if she wants something she will just keep saying it over and over and over and over. Like today, we were on a walk and about 4 blocks from home. She decided at that very moment that she would like some milk...and proceeded to tell me about it all the way home. Milk. Milk. Milk. MILK!. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk...MILK!...milk...milk....milk...MILK! Kind of annoying!

Calah is also very sneaky...and just like my younger sister, knows how to antagonize Hannah when no one is looking so that when Hannah reacts, she is the one who gets in trouble. She'll just sneak up behind Hannah and whack her on top of the head with a toy or pull her hair. When I see her and tell her "NO", she will smile, give Hannah a kiss, and then slap her again. Most of the time, Hannah is an angel and does not retaliate. But I think sometimes she reaches her limit...and of course, she ends up getting in trouble. It's hard to be the oldest!!!

Anyway, I try to tell them to be kind to each other because one day they will be best friends. There is no one who understands you like your sister and no one who can make you laugh as hard either. (Especially in boot camp when they make inappropriate jokes about unique exercise positions).